White Noise

I just finished White Noise. It was a book I had to read for school so I didn't like it too much. It was supposed to be funny but I just found it weird. Like something was supposed to be so ridiculously outrageous that it was a joke but to me it just seemed  really weird. And then it talked about how nuns don't really believe in God, they just say they do so we all can feel better. I don't understand what the author's point was when he put this in, because its so obviously untrue so i don't think the idea was to get people believe this exact statement. Who knows though? Maybe he just wanted to be weird and creepy and guess what? He succeeded!

The Hunger Games Round 2

I decided to try it again. I finished and it was really easy to read, entertaining I suppose, but it wasn't good at all. It was just a bunch of action and, of course, everyone was obsessed with the main character and "she wasn't aware of it" even though its totally obvious and youre not being humble for not noticing it, youre being an idiot and youre making a bigger deal out of it by making people explain it. The writing was terrible. So I'm not going to read the other books but I will see the movie because I think it'll be a good movie because its a story for a movie. Simple as that. Books are for intellecutal prose and movies are, not always though, just for entertainment. And this was "entertaining."

Adios, yo

YES!

Finished Atlas Shrugged. 1168 pages read. Boom. Yeah so I read it and I loved it. I agree on many parts with Whittaker Chambers about Ayn Rand's flaws except on the Robin Hood part, I think she is right on that. But I don't see why Chambers hates her so much- she is right on almost everything. Maybe its the fact that shes an atheist that he doesn't like. Which brings me to my next point- I think that the reason i was disagreeing with her earlier is because I was getting Ayn Rand's spiritual and moral philosohpy mixed up with her political philosophy. Capitalism is the most loving and logical way a man can live.
Im just really glad I'm done.
Oh and P.S. I finished Snow Flower and the Secret Fan also. I'm about to watch the movie.

Peace

Little bit O' Shakespeare

" So farewell to the little good you bear me. Farewell! a long farewell, to all my greatness!This is the state of man: to-day he puts forthThe tender leaves of hopes; to-morrow blossoms,And bears his blushing honours thick upon him;The third day comes a frost, a killing frost,And, when he thinks, good easy man, full surelyHis greatness is a-ripening, nips his root,And then he falls, as I do. I have venturd,Like little wanton boys that swim on bladders,This many summers in a sea of glory,But far beyond my depth. My high-blown prideAt length broke under me, and now has left me,Weary and old with service, to the mercyOf a rude stream that must for ever hide me. Vain pomp and glory of this world, I hate ye!I feel my heart new opend. O, how wretchedIs that poor man that hangs on princes favours!There is, betwixt that smile we would aspire to,That sweet aspect of princes, and their ruin,More pangs and fears than wars or women have;And when he falls, he falls like Lucifer,
Never to hope again "

So farewell to the ways of the world, of trying to achieve things that will bring you nothing, of hope in men and gold, goodbye to the material powers of the world and Hello God's eternal gift of grace.

Snow Flower and the Secret Fan

I haven't read in a couple weeks because reading Atlas Shrugged feels so hopeless and I'm still angry at Dagny so I picked up a very short and easy read- Snow Flower and the Secret Fan by Lisa See. I absolutely love it. The writing is really good and its really interesting because it tells the story of a girl born in 1823 China. I am, for some reason, absolutely fascinated by Chinese culture and I love to read these kinds of books so it is really fun for me to read. It has a big part on foot binding which i found really almost unbearable to even read. I can't believe they did that. The ideal size was 7 centimeters! So crazy and for such an awful cause. Those Chinese women were braver and stronger than I can imagine. It's amazing the kind of brutality they were supposed to take and are expected to take without any say at all. That sort of obedience and suffering is an unreal world to American women, who dance around naked shouting to the world how their rights are being taken away. It's pathetic really and then to put those two types of women next to eachother - the contrast is black and white.

Heres a poem that is directly perpendicular to Atlas

One Hundred Love Sonnets: XVII
By Pablo Neruda 1904–1973

I don’t love you as if you were a rose of salt, topaz,

or arrow of carnations that propagate fire:

I love you as one loves certain obscure things,

secretly, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that doesn’t bloom but carries

the light of those flowers, hidden, within itself,

and thanks to your love the tight aroma that arose

from the earth lives dimly in my body.

 

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where,

I love you directly without problems or pride:

I love you like this because I don’t know any other way to love,

except in this form in which I am not nor are you,

so close that your hand upon my chest is mine,

so close that your eyes close with my dreams.

If this doesn't make sense, don't worry; I'm confused too.

Here's a passage from Atlas:
      ""To be loved for!" he said, his voice grating with mockery and righteousness. "So you think that love is a matter of mathematics, of exchange, of weighing and measuring, like a pound of butter on a grocery counter? I don't want to be loved for anything. I want to be loved for myself- not for anything I do or have or say or think. For myself-not for my body or mind or words or actins." 
      "But then... what is yourself?""
If you're not a capitalist then I'll have to tell you that the first person talking is the "bad" guy and the second is the "good" guy.
And yes, I so agree with this. People have to be good, they have to be worthy if they expect someone to love them. It is not enough just to use this powerful word "love." But I'm having trouble with it becuase, why then does God love us? Because he is great, wonderful, perfect, above us. We know we don't deserve to be loved, and yet we are, and yet we plead for it as we are sinning. So shouldn't we try to emulate his love? I know that by emulating his love we will destroy ourselves. We would be no match for the evil in this world if we showed that complete vulnerability. I think that God sends us to give all we have to the poor. But isn't it "better to teach a man to fish than to give him a fish"? this same principle lies deep within the seeds of capitalism. The poor survive, thrive because of other people's success. They are borught up when brilliant industrialiasts make millions even when they make millions for it. This is so messed up. So if we give all we have to the poor we would be doing them a great, great diservice. But they would see kindness? No. I don't think so. They would see a source to be drained. So why does capitalism look like the nemisis of God? It seems like an absolute contradiction on the surface, a surface that many will not pass.
     Or maybe giving to the poor will give proof to the small number, that narrow path of people, the proof, the sight they need to believe in God. Even if it destroys us. Even if it destroys the world. So the question is, does God wasnt us to destroy ourselves for that small number of people? Does he want us to destroy the earth for that small number of people? Or does he want to make the world a better place without people's knowledge even though we are giving them food, removing their burdens?
Why do we seperate God's word from serving the poor to marrying someone? Because they will destroy us just the same. Does he want us to destroy the world for His sake?
So many questions. So few answers.