If this doesn't make sense, don't worry; I'm confused too.

Here's a passage from Atlas:
      ""To be loved for!" he said, his voice grating with mockery and righteousness. "So you think that love is a matter of mathematics, of exchange, of weighing and measuring, like a pound of butter on a grocery counter? I don't want to be loved for anything. I want to be loved for myself- not for anything I do or have or say or think. For myself-not for my body or mind or words or actins." 
      "But then... what is yourself?""
If you're not a capitalist then I'll have to tell you that the first person talking is the "bad" guy and the second is the "good" guy.
And yes, I so agree with this. People have to be good, they have to be worthy if they expect someone to love them. It is not enough just to use this powerful word "love." But I'm having trouble with it becuase, why then does God love us? Because he is great, wonderful, perfect, above us. We know we don't deserve to be loved, and yet we are, and yet we plead for it as we are sinning. So shouldn't we try to emulate his love? I know that by emulating his love we will destroy ourselves. We would be no match for the evil in this world if we showed that complete vulnerability. I think that God sends us to give all we have to the poor. But isn't it "better to teach a man to fish than to give him a fish"? this same principle lies deep within the seeds of capitalism. The poor survive, thrive because of other people's success. They are borught up when brilliant industrialiasts make millions even when they make millions for it. This is so messed up. So if we give all we have to the poor we would be doing them a great, great diservice. But they would see kindness? No. I don't think so. They would see a source to be drained. So why does capitalism look like the nemisis of God? It seems like an absolute contradiction on the surface, a surface that many will not pass.
     Or maybe giving to the poor will give proof to the small number, that narrow path of people, the proof, the sight they need to believe in God. Even if it destroys us. Even if it destroys the world. So the question is, does God wasnt us to destroy ourselves for that small number of people? Does he want us to destroy the earth for that small number of people? Or does he want to make the world a better place without people's knowledge even though we are giving them food, removing their burdens?
Why do we seperate God's word from serving the poor to marrying someone? Because they will destroy us just the same. Does he want us to destroy the world for His sake?
So many questions. So few answers.